July 18
Talking sexuality: Problematic phrases #1 and #2
By Joanna HaraderAs I talk with people about how to include sexual minorities in the church, there are certain words and phrases that get repeated. And many of them are not helpful. I have a pretty long list of things we need to quit saying to each other. But rather than discuss them all in one long blog post, I want to take one or two at a time. So here goes.
Problematic phrase #1: “The Bible is clear … that homosexuality is a sin.”
The first problem with this phrase is that the Bible is not clear. Not about homosexuality, not about a lot of things. The Bible was written in and for a culture vastly different from ours. The Bible was spoken and written in languages that few of us can speak or read today. The Bible tells contradictory stories and gives contradictory advise at many points. Anyone who believes the Bible is clear is not engaging with the scriptures in an honest and faithful way.
The second problem with this phrase is the implication behind it. When people say this, they are claiming that those who condemn same-sex relationships are following the Bible, while those who affirm such relationships are throwing out the teachings of Scripture in order to accommodate secular values.
It’s not true. Many of us who want to welcome sexual minorities fully into the church take the Bible very seriously. We study it. We pray with it. We seek to live by it. And, if we’re honest, many people who oppose gay marriage have no biblical or theological basis for doing so — they just think it’s weird for two guys to be in love.
Suggested replacement phrase: “Based on my current understanding of Scripture . . .”
And, to not let the affirming folks off the hook, I’ll go ahead with problematic phrase #2: “Jesus just wants us to love people.”
There is, of course, no literal problem with this phrase. Jesus does want us to love people. The problem is with the implication – those who view homosexuality as a sin are not loving; those who accept LGBT people are loving.
We know it’s not that simple. Love does not always mean affirming the choices that someone makes. Mennonites (and other pacifists) would say that the most faithful way to love military personnel is to speak out against war and try to help soldiers get out of active duty. Likewise, those who sincerely believe same-sex intimate relationships are outside of God’s good will for humanity are acting out of love when they protest gay marriage and try to “rehabilitate” LGBT people.
Yes, I think this love is misguided. But just like it’s not fair for anyone to claim a monopoly on biblical understanding, it is not fair for others to claim a monopoly on love. People on all sides can ignore the Bible. People on all sides can act in unloving ways. Most of us within the church are trying to be faithful to the teachings of Scripture, and we are trying to follow the way of love that Jesus showed us.
Suggested replacement phrase: “I believe we are not fully living out the love of Christ when we (exclude gays from ministry, teach young people that their sexual identity is wrong, refuse membership to sexual minorities …).”
In future blog posts, I’ll write about more phrases we need to abandon. What about you? What phrases do you find unhelpful as we talk about issues of sexuality in the church?
Joanna Harader is pastor of Peace Mennonite Church in Lawrence, Kan., and blogs at Spacious Faith, where this post originally appeared.
Comments
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i am concerned about any "phrase" used if it is a robotic response to the person in front of you. if you are speaking to somebody you should care enough to speak from your heart which seems to have little-to-nothing to do with common cultural phrases.
that said, i do think there are times when quotations can serve a good purpose within a conversation.
i think i see a hint of where a larger problem exists. you say that people in the church are trying to be faithful to the TEACHINGS of Scripture and the WAY of love of Jesus. this sounds good enough and yet it is a direct challenge to the perception of the lordship of Jesus the Christ, the Son of God, the Savior. if we know the Teachings to walk the Way then what role or significance does Jesus have? where is the closest Buddhist temple?
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Thank you for examining such a polarizing issue with grace and love. I do wish that, when scripture is referred to, either as an argument for or against what scripture actually says (clearly or otherwise, in reference to this issue or any number of others this publication chooses to print), that those scriptures would be quoted.
I agree that "...it’s not fair for anyone to claim a monopoly on biblical understanding [and] People on all sides can ignore the Bible [and] act in unloving ways."
As this article reads, however, it is not a considered position. Not even a well-considered opinion. It is one person's feelings, without Scripture used as cornerstones to hold it up.
Please don't leave God's word out of God's word.
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"Anyone who believes the Bible is clear is not engaging with the scriptures in an honest and faithful way."
Well that is a show stopper! Nothing like setting the table so that no position is acceptable other than having no position. Perhaps we are reading a different Bible but on most issues the Bible is quite clear and unambiguous.
There is simply nothing at all loving about affirming someone in their sin. Would we "affirm" someone in an adulterous relationship? Would we welcome and affirm someone who steals cars for a living? I should hope not although based on what I just read I am not sure.
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Arthur, Joanna does have a firm position on this issue, but she knows that scripture is ambiguous about it. Do you have a problem with the fact that she opens the door having a diversity of Biblical interpretations or with the fact that her interpretation is different than yours?
You are right that the Bible is quite clear on some matters. We must love God and love our neighbor. Stealing is a sin. Adultery is a sin. Perpetuating economic injustice is a sin.
By the way, your last paragraph indicates that you may have missed the part where Joanna says, "Love does not always mean affirming the choices that someone makes. Mennonites (and other pacifists) would say that the most faithful way to love military personnel is to speak out against war and try to help soldiers get out of active duty. Likewise, those who sincerely believe same-sex intimate relationships are outside of God’s good will for humanity are acting out of love when they protest gay marriage and try to “rehabilitate” LGBT people."
She met you half-way and in response you equated homosexuality with stealing cars and committing adultery. Unfair.
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Either you believe homosexuality is a sin or it is not. If you don't believe homosexuality is a sin then is it safe to assume that God has made homosexuals the way they are. If that is the case why can't two men or two women reproduce. Usually when two people fall in love and get married they long to have a child that is part me part my spouse that is why infertility hurts. Yes a couple can adopt but still most have the desire to see the results of their love in the form of a biological child. I am not speaking against adoption and I have struggled with infertility. Why would God preclude any homosexual couple from being able to reproduce. If I was a "gay Christian" I would really have a hard time with this. Can anyone tell me why if God is a loving God and condones homosexual relationships why can't those couples be part of one of the most joyous parts of this relationship bringing a child into the world.
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The Bible IS clear and was written for us today.
I Corinthians 6:9 gives a list of those that will not inderit the Kingdom of God...including homosexuals.
Genesis 19 is the story of Lot in Sodom. The men of the city were blinded because they wanted to have sex with men that were staying with Lot. A similar account is found in Judges 19.
Romans 1 tells of "unnatural" sexual relations such as men being "inflamed with lust for one another.."
God has spoken clearly through the Bible reguarding homosexual behavior. Like any sin we fall into, it creates a divide between us and God that can only be breached by repentance of that sin and the acceptance of God's redemptive power.
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