Articles : Hallelujahs & Demurs
Nov. 21, 2011 issue
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When Saints met Originals
Picture the first Thanksgiving. Two continents meet in 1621 at Plymouth Rock, in the territory Amerigo. On one side of the table sits Gov. Bradford and the Saints, just off the boat. On the other side, Chief Massasoit and the Originals.
Chief Massasoit asks Squanto: “What are these jokers trying to say? I can’t get a word out of their grunts and hisses.”
March 8, 2010 issue
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Patriotism mit paxibum, ja?
After staring at Gog and Magog for a century, Goshen blinked. Patriotism with peace? Ja.
Dec. 17, 2007 issue
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God likes guys at Christmas
Christmas is the perfect time to get guys to church. Guys are willing to come to church to learn Joseph stuff.
July 30, 2007 issue
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While secretary multi-tasked
We make church secretaries do too much. While they e-mail, type, photocopy and answer the phone, errors creep into the bulletin.
Dec. 18, 2006 issue
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Why Santa Claus quit his job
I am 8 years old. My friends tell me there is no Santa Claus. So please tell the truth, is there a Santa Claus?
— Virginia O’Hanlon
June 12, 2006 issue
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Jesus and Maggie at home
The Da Vinci Code sold 40 million copies. Now there’s a movie. What’s all the fuss? That this popular page-turner claims the church covered up the fact that Jesus married Mary Magdalene and had children?
May 15, 2006 issue
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Visitor’s answers in the cards
Every time I visit a church an usher hands me a card to fill out. Don’t blame Homeland Security. Eternal security is the issue here.
March 13, 2006 issue
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Intelligent designer at work
Day One. Yahweh calls Team Creation into his studio. “OK. The project is light. Keep it simple,” he says.
Feb. 27, 2006 issue
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Tortured in the chat room
One night I logged on Mennogab.chatroom.
Dec. 19, 2005 issue
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Nativity: Luke warmed over
Once upon a time, Congress passed a law requiring every American to get a national ID. And everyone went to his township of birth to be fingerprinted by the Homeland Security Office.
Oct. 31, 2005 issue
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Church ads they might reject
The United Church of Christ got knocked down a prophetic peg or two. Both ABC and NBC television refused to run its ad.
Aug. 8, 2005 issue
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On Sunday, redeem the time
It’s time to shape up and improve my spiritual life. I think I’ll start with Sunday mornings.
May 2, 2005 issue
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Ad slogans get snubbed
A denominational TV ad got media attention when several networks refused to air it. The tag line went something like this: “Wherever you are on life’s journey, you’re welcome here.” It’s that easy to get persecuted in this wicked world.
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