Mennonite World Review

Comments

• Very sad, but only the tip of the Mennonie sexual abuse iceberg, I fear.

  - Debra Bender (jun 21 at 4:04 p.m.)

• Debra, if you don't have any facts and are just typing out of the blue, please refrain from throwing unsubstantiated dirt around. Totally unnecessary comment.

  - Jan (jun 23 at 12:19 p.m.)

• A very necessary comment I'm afraid.
  

  - Wulfnoth (jun 23 at 4:04 p.m.)

• A very necessary comment indeed. Enough already with hiding behind the Mennonite and Amish laurels of moral high ground.

  - Lavonne Oberly (jun 25 at 1:49 p.m.)

• Debra, thank you for your comment and it is very important for us to recognize this ugly and insidious sin/disease among us. It is such an ugly one that I believe that, more often than not, people are willfully naive because it is so difficult to deal with. I know this to be true from my own personal experience.

  - Pat (jun 25 at 3:18 p.m.)

• Alright then: who is hiding? What is he hiding? Since when?

  Nobody denies sexual violence happens, all over America, even in church related homes abd institution. But to write as if Mennonites were particularly given to commiting those hideous crimes, and to hiding them, is slander. Stop hyperventilating. This case, for one, has been handled very well by LMS. Many other institutions, some Christians, can only dream of acting like that in comparable situations.

  - Tom (jun 25 at 8:34 p.m.)

• For some of us from Mennonite background where men dominated women and children, it is to be expected that men could go a step further and violate their subjects. I realize this is not the case for many Mennonites, particularly where children were not used for farm labor, but one violation of one child is too many. In my case, my generation of siblings has consciously tried to stop the kind of physical abuse my father suffered, who then passed on to us as verbal abuse. Child abuse is a heritage that we acknowledge and hope to end with us.
  

  - Darleen (jun 26 at 10:13 a.m.)

• That's right, amen to that. But neither patriarchalism nor rural upbringing nor abusive acts are unique to Mennonites. And, as you point out, many Mennonites dod not grow up like that at all. Save the clichees please. So I found it sensationalistic and unhelpful to write stuff here that suggests otherwise. Especislly when LMS really reacted correctly to all this.

  - Jan (jun 26 at 1:52 p.m.)

• What nonsense is this now? Amish, Mennos and Hutters have no more or less abuse than any other Christian group. Pull yourself together and think this through.

  - Jake (jun 26 at 5:01 p.m.)

• Perhaps no more or less abuse, who knows, Jake? But there is more hypocrisy involved in these "denominations" as we declare our "peacemaker" position...no war, no conflict, turn the other cheek, forgive, etc.! Ironically, this hidden "war" of physical and sexual abuse is immensely damaging to the human spirit, bringing on shame, guilt and sexual dysfunction for an entire lifetime. And, it can continue thoughout the generations...the abused becomes the abuser. Keeping quiet and allowing this abuse to continue makes us abusers, as well.

  - Deb (jun 27 at 10:29 a.m.)

• And posting unsubstantiated stuff about everybody allegedly "keeping quiet" on the MWR website helps anybody?

  "who knows" Deb, that's right. neither you nor anybody else does, but you're acting as if you did, and as if this was a particular burden on the Mennonite church. Our position on peacemaking doesn't deserve to be put in ""s and be dragged into this discussion. I think you have gone far enough on this now.
  

  - Tom (jun 27 at 5:21 p.m.)

• Tom, nothing I said is “unsubstantiated stuff”, I never used the word “everybody”, and I do believe these discussions might “help” somebody realize they have been a victim or a perpetrator of abuse, and consequently seek professional help. I am also not “acting”. I have no idea what your “ “”s” word is supposed to be, so I cannot even address that. Abuse of any kind is absolutely a peace and justice issue, and because we have claimed this stance from our heritage (and, of course, Christ himself), then it would be hypocritical of us to either abuse another person, watch someone else suffer abuse, or even endure it ourselves, without speaking out. Finally, I really don’t believe I “have gone far enough on this now”, which shows some lack of compassion on your part toward those who are reading this and have suffered at the hands of an abuser. As Mennonite followers of Christ, we are held to a higher standard when we profess our passion for peace and justice.

  - Deb (jun 28 at 11:00 a.m.)

• Our position on peacemaking is the very reason this subject deserves much more discussion.

  - Lavonne Oberly (jun 28 at 12:56 p.m.)

• Not only do I find the Geyer situation sad, I find some of the responses to this article even more so. I pray that some day soon we all understand that there IS a problem of unbelieved, unacknowledged, uncovered, unaddressed, untreated sexual abuse in the Mennonite community. Research on abuse indicates that these are common responses, especially in closed communities.

  Bottom line, I hope we as humans - not specifically Mennonite or even Christian, but just as humans - will believe, will acknowledge, will listen to those who have been horribly abused by those who sometimes sit next to us at 11:00 on Sunday mornings. And, for those of you who question my assertions, two of my very dear Mennonite friends suffered sexual abuse as children, and suffer to this day. I know. I believed and I listen. It's the least any of us can do.

  - Debra Bender (jun 28 at 2:38 p.m.)

• Alright, I concur. Abuse is particularly rampant among Mennonites and we have been scheming to hide it. Then some MWR users came along, who know how much abuse, where and by whom happened, and now I see the light. Ok?

  p.s.Deb, everything you have hinted at was unsubstantiated. You provided no facts. Zero. That is what's commonly called "without substance" - unsubstantiated.

  - Jan (jun 28 at 6:47 p.m.)

• Is this a forum for outing the abusers or those having been abused... I think not. This started out as being an awareness conversation about a subject that our denomination needs to deal with, just like many other denominations and secular institutions are doing. For those of us who have known victims of such abuse to be told to 'stop hyperventilating' was insensitive.

  - Lavonne Oberly (jun 28 at 7:54 p.m.)

• I think it was hyperventilation to respond to this article, and the really good response of LMS by instantly talking about hidden icebergs, putting peace and justice in parameters and somehow suggesting there is a specifically Mennonite problem -as opposed to a general pattern of patriarchalism, power and pain. It smacked of a "holier and smarter than thou" attitude.

  - Jan (jun 28 at 8:01 p.m.)

• We are not saying this is a specific Mennonite problem; rather, a universal aberration coming out of a myriad of wounds...Further, we as the living ambassadors of European Anabaptists have a unique and sacred responsibility to address peace and justice issues as they present themselves in-new-ways. So, this is all-inclusive. Be it mountain-top removal, fracking and despoiling our water systems, factory farming, despising gays in our churches, and being ignorant of how our political system and systems of power work. So, perhaps a bit of deep-breathing is appropriate. ~ Salaam

  - Sandra Stutzman (jun 28 at 10:11 p.m.)

• Jan, I could substantiate facts, but why betray the confidence of the victims or the families of the abusers? There is no purpose in being that insensitive. And, plus, it seems you are not able to substantiate your claims to the contrary. No one is saying this is only a "Mennonite" problem, but I did say that when we profess our peace and justice stance, we are held to a higher standard. I am assuming your post beginning "alright, I concur", is only sarcasm, however, that is a lie if you really don't mean it. Holier and smarter than thou...no, but clearly more honest. Why are we not talking about ways to help instead of attacking and defending? This behavior is certainly contradictive to what we learned as peacemakers. Can we work on creating peace between us? I am willing.

  - Deb (jun 28 at 10:25 p.m.)

• Yes please, let's talk about mountain top removal...

  LMS did a good job handling this, some people here did a good job scandalizing it wildly out of proportion. Voila..

  - Tom (jun 29 at 10:32 a.m.)

• And some people, Tom, just don't seem to get it. I can't see one comment above that has criticized the way LMS has handled this. The issue is so much wider and obviously has brought forth a rather strong response from people who are ready to speak out. I wonder why. Haven't you heard? Has no one told you? The old days of "Sit down, shut up and it will all go away" are over-- like it or not.

  - Robert (jun 29 at 10:52 a.m.)

• I like it, don't worry. And I can't see any comment that has suggested otherwise, sorry.

  - Tom (jun 29 at 3:09 p.m.)

• Tom, your sarcasm toward Sandra's post is rude to say the least. She sounds like a true Anabaptist who cares about the home God gave us. Stewardship is not just about money, its about caring for all aspects of our life on earth. Why so much anger?

  - Deb (jun 29 at 9:40 p.m.)

• I work as a clinician with the Amish community. There is a problem, and women feel helpless to declare it.
  

  - kyoder (jul 1 at 1:42 a.m.)

• There is also a real problem of cover-up. We need to keep our dialogue civil and compassionate and stand by the victims who feel powerless and helpless to come forward.

  - Lavonne Oberly (jul 1 at 11:08 a.m.)

• Yes, as the Ice Caps are melting, I am speaking of mountain-top removal, fracking and factory farming...the embodiment of the wholesale, turning-into-commodity, our natural resources and sentient beings. These abuses against 'the Commons', speak directly to our own, centuries-long, definitive and respected, legacy stewardship of the land, along with our peace witness. A very high standard, indeed! Where is our collective outrage for these abuses in our midst, many happening on Mennonite farms and lands? Perhaps one can be forgiven for enlarging the discourse to add current, compelling grievences on the table to be addressed by our body politic. May we give solidarity, in whatever way we can, to support and defend the victims of sexual abuse, so they may come forth and be heard. ~ Salaam.

  - Sandra Stutzman (jul 1 at 4:09 p.m.)

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