Forgiveness normsBy Robert Yutzy
Things usually can’t be put back exactly how they were. But we can try to make them as right as they can be. This requires us to remember and change, not forgive and forget.
This enables communities and people to learn from their mistakes and to function in higher and healthier ways than before the incident happened. To forgive and forget may create a destiny that repeats the harm.
If we don’t embody a spirit of forgiveness, we may find ourselves falling into two fallacies of victimhood: that something is wrong with me, or something is wrong with everyone else.
Forgiveness is a choice to believe in God’s faithfulness and redeeming love. When we are deeply hurt, it can be very difficult to believe that the person who harmed us can change or that anything good can come from what happened.
Paul reminds us that “in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28).
Robert Yutzy is a senior associate with the Kansas Institute for Peace and Conflict Resolution, North Newton, Kan.
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